In “The Excellent Wife” Martha Peace provides a detailed guide for Christian women seeking to fulfill the biblical role of a wife. With practical advice and biblical principles, Peace addresses various aspects of marriage and encourages wives to honor God in their relationships. Martha Peace is a biblical counselor and speaker who holds a Master’s degree in biblical counseling from The Master’s College. As an experienced and knowledgeable author in the field of Christian living, Peace equips wives with the tools necessary to cultivate a joyful, God-honoring marriage.
Chapter 1: The Role and Calling of a Wife
The author explains that God has specifically designed each wife to fulfill this role and to complement her husband.
Peace begins by stating that being a wife is a high and noble calling from God, and it is crucial for wives to understand and embrace their God-given responsibilities. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing that the role of a wife is distinct from that of a husband, and it should be approached with respect, reverence, and submission.
Peace argues that a wife’s calling is to be submissive to her husband’s leadership, both spiritually and practically, in accordance with biblical teachings. She provides examples of how this submission should not be seen as demeaning or oppressive, but rather as an act of love, trust, and dependence on God.
Additionally, the author highlights the significance of a wife’s role as her husband’s helper. She explains that being a helper implies supporting, assisting, encouraging, and coming alongside her husband. Peace discusses the importance of a wife’s supportive role in the various areas of her husband’s life, such as his work, ministry, and decision-making.
Chapter 2: Submission and Respect in Marriage
Peace begins by explaining that submission does not mean that a wife is inferior to her husband. Instead, it refers to the role a wife willingly takes on to honor and respect her husband’s God-given position as the head of the household. She highlights Ephesians 5:22-24, which instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord.
The author further elaborates on the principle of submission by outlining the various ways it should be practiced in a marriage. This includes being supportive, respectful, and cooperative in decision-making. A wife should submit to her husband’s guidance unless it contradicts God’s Word. Peace stresses that submission is a choice made out of love and obedience to God.
Additionally, the chapter emphasizes the importance of respect in a marriage. Peace explains that respect is crucial for a wife’s attitude and behavior towards her husband. This involves openly appreciating him, avoiding critical remarks, and speaking well of him. The author cites various Bible verses, such as Ephesians 5:33 and Proverbs 31:11-12, to highlight the significance of respect in maintaining a healthy and harmonious marriage.
Overall, Chapter 2 provides a thorough understanding of submission and respect within the context of a Christian marriage. It emphasizes the importance of willingly fulfilling the Biblical role of a wife, honoring and respecting her husband’s leadership while nurturing a loving and supportive relationship.
Chapter 3: Nurturing a Godly Character and Attitude
The chapter begins by emphasizing that godly character is not something that comes naturally but requires intentional effort and submission to the Holy Spirit. Peace encourages women to develop traits like kindness, humility, forgiveness, and patience, as these qualities are crucial for building strong relationships.
Peace offers practical guidance on nurturing a godly character by suggesting various actions and attitudes. She relates the importance of studying and applying biblical principles to our lives, seeking God’s wisdom through prayer, and practicing self-control to avoid sinful behaviors. Peace emphasizes the significance of renewing one’s mind regularly through reading the Word of God.
Additionally, Peace addresses dealing with negative emotions and difficult circumstances. She advises women to trust in God’s sovereignty and believe that He is ultimately in control. Cultivating gratitude and maintaining a thankful heart are also essential in nurturing a godly attitude, even in difficult situations.
Moreover, Peace stresses the importance of submitting to one’s husband as an act of obedience to God’s design for marriage. She emphasizes that submission is not about being subservient, but rather a reflection of the church’s submission to Christ. Peace provides guidance on how to communicate respectfully and honor one’s husband, focusing on building unity and harmony in the marriage.
Chapter 3 highlights the significance of nurturing a godly character and attitude for a healthy and fulfilling marriage. It emphasizes the need for intentional effort, submission to the Holy Spirit, and the application of biblical principles in daily life. Peace encourages women to cultivate virtues such as kindness, humility, forgiveness, and patience, while also emphasizing the importance of trusting God’s sovereignty and maintaining gratitude in challenging circumstances.
Chapter 4: Honoring and Encouraging Your Husband
Peace begins by discussing the biblical command for wives to respect their husbands. She explains that respect is not simply an emotion, but rather a voluntary choice to honor and esteem one’s husband. Wives are encouraged to understand their husband’s God-given role as the leader of the family and to support and encourage them in fulfilling that role.
The author then provides practical advice on how to honor and encourage a husband. She suggests that wives should avoid criticizing, nagging, or belittling their husbands, as these actions can undermine their self-esteem and damage the marital relationship. Instead, wives are encouraged to focus on their husband’s positive qualities and express their admiration for him. Peace also advises wives to affirm their husband’s leadership decisions, even if they may disagree, and to trust in God’s guidance.
Furthermore, the author acknowledges that some husbands may not be fulfilling their leadership role as they should. In such cases, Peace suggests that wives should respectfully communicate their concerns and desires, praying for God’s intervention and seeking wise counsel if necessary.
Lastly, Peace addresses the issue of unfaithfulness and disobedience in marriage. She emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and God’s grace in overcoming these challenges. The author urges wives to seek spiritual growth, relying on the Lord’s strength to navigate difficult circumstances and to honor and encourage their husbands even in the face of adversity.
Chapter 5: Building a Strong Foundation of Trust and Unity
The chapter starts by discussing the significance of trust in a relationship. Peace explains that trust is built through honesty, dependability, and consistency in actions and words. Trust is not easily earned but can be easily broken; therefore, it requires effort and commitment from both spouses to cultivate and maintain.
Peace highlights the role of unity in building trust. Unity is achieved when both partners are committed to the same values, goals, and biblical principles. This unity allows them to make decisions together, trust in the other’s judgment, and resolve conflicts in a harmonious manner.
The author provides practical advice on developing trust within a marriage. She advises wives to be honest and transparent with their husbands, sharing their thoughts and feelings openly. Likewise, wives should trust and respect their husbands’ decisions, even when they may not fully understand or agree with them. This trust and respect will strengthen the marriage bond.
In addition to trust and unity, Peace explores the significance of forgiveness. She emphasizes that forgiveness is key for any relationship to grow and flourish. It is crucial to let go of past hurts and grudges and instead focus on loving and serving one another.
Chapter 6: Managing Your Home and Finances
Peace emphasizes the importance of a godly wife and mother as the heart and center of the family, taking charge of the home’s needs. She highlights the need to prioritize household responsibilities and ensure a peaceful and organized environment for everyone. She encourages women to maintain discipline in managing their time, balancing various tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and managing the family’s finances.
The author stresses the concept of submission to one’s husband, not only in decision-making but also in handling financial matters. She encourages wives to communicate openly with their husbands about budgeting, saving, and financial goals. Peace emphasizes the need for wives to practice contentment, identifying the difference between wants and needs, and seeking to be good stewards of the resources God has provided.
Additionally, Peace addresses the issue of debt, cautioning against the dangers of overspending and borrowing beyond one’s means. She recommends creating and adhering to a budget, tracking expenses, and living within one’s financial limits. The author also highlights the significance of generosity and giving, encouraging women to be cheerful givers, supporting the work of the church and those in need.
It encourages wives to prioritize their roles in creating a peaceful and organized home environment while also demonstrating wise financial stewardship through budgeting and contentment. Peace emphasizes open communication with husbands and prudent decision-making in order to honor God with their finances.
Chapter 7: Growing in Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
In this chapter, Peace emphasizes the importance of husbands and wives developing a deep emotional connection, while also addressing the role of sexual intimacy within marriage.
Firstly, the author highlights the need for wives to be sensitive to their husbands’ emotional needs. Peace encourages women to actively listen and show understanding to their husbands’ feelings, thoughts, and concerns. She stresses the importance of wives being intentional in cultivating emotional intimacy by seeking to meet their husbands’ emotional needs and maintaining open lines of communication.
Furthermore, Peace delves into the topic of sexual intimacy within marriage. She encourages wives to view sex as a gift from God and to embrace their role as a helper to their husbands in this area. The author emphasizes the importance of wives being available for and responsive to their husbands’ sexual needs.
Peace offers practical advice on enhancing sexual intimacy, including engaging in open and honest discussions about desires and preferences and actively seeking to meet each other’s physical needs. Additionally, she addresses common concerns regarding sexual intimacy, such as past sexual sin or abuse, and provides guidance on how wives can find healing in these areas.
Peace encourages wives to prioritize the development of a deep emotional connection with their husbands, while also embracing their role as a helper in the area of sexual intimacy. The author provides practical advice for cultivating emotional and sexual intimacy, ultimately aiming to strengthen and deepen the marital bond.
Chapter 8: Cultivating a Life of Prayer and Spiritual Growth
Peace begins by highlighting the necessity of having a personal prayer life. She emphasizes that prayer should not be seen as a mere duty to fulfill, but rather as a privilege and an opportunity to connect with God intimately. Prayer allows the wife to express her gratitude, seek forgiveness, and present her supplications for herself and her family.
Furthermore, Peace provides practical advice for developing a consistent prayer life. She recommends setting aside specific times for daily prayer, such as early morning or before bedtime, and creating a quiet and dedicated space for prayer within the home. She encourages the use of a prayer journal, where the wife can write down her prayers and record how God answers them, thus enhancing her faith and trust in Him.
Additionally, Peace stresses the importance of cultivating a heart of gratitude and contentment. She highlights the significance of being thankful for both the blessings and trials in life, recognizing that everything comes from God’s loving hand. By adopting an attitude of gratitude, the wife can strengthen her relationship with God and grow in spiritual maturity.
After Reading
In conclusion, Martha Peace’s book “The Excellent Wife” provides a comprehensive guide for Christian women on how to fulfill their biblical roles as wives. By emphasizing the importance of submitting to and honoring their husbands, cultivating godly character, and maintaining a Christ-centered mindset, Peace offers practical advice and spiritual insights to help women thrive in their marriages. Through its emphasis on the principles from God’s Word, this book serves as a valuable resource for any wife seeking to grow in her relationship with both her husband and God.
Book Recommendation: Conversations and Relationships
1. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
In our everyday lives, conversations can become challenging and uncomfortable. Difficult Conversations provides valuable insights and practical guidance on handling crucial discussions effectively. By equipping readers with communication tools, this book empowers us to navigate sensitive topics, manage conflicts, and build strong relationships. It is a must-read for anyone seeking to enhance their conversation skills.
2. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
While The Art of Seduction may seem like an unconventional recommendation for a book on conversations, it offers an in-depth exploration of human nature and the dynamics of influence. This insightful read teaches us how to captivate others, communicate effectively, and build a deep connection. Whether you seek to deepen personal relationships or enhance your professional interactions, The Art of Seduction is an intriguing and enlightening choice.
3. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
Crucial Conversations is an indispensable guide that helps individuals navigate high-stakes discussions, particularly in emotionally charged environments. Through practical techniques and real-life examples, this book equips readers with the tools to express their opinions, resolve conflicts, and create a safe space for open dialogue. It is a valuable resource for individuals looking to master the art of heartfelt conversations.
4. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Ury
Negotiation is a fundamental aspect of any conversation, whether personal or professional. Getting to Yes provides readers with a clear framework for negotiation, based on principled strategies. This timeless classic explores win-win approaches to resolving conflicts, reaching agreements, and fostering understanding. If you want to become a master negotiator and enhance your conversation skills, this book is an essential read.
5. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Communication is not just about words; it is about understanding and empathizing with others. Nonviolent Communication offers readers a revolutionary approach to conversations, emphasizing compassion, empathy, and peaceful resolutions. By exploring the power of connecting with others using empathy, this book transforms relationships and helps build a more harmonious world. It provides invaluable insights into effective listening, expressing ourselves honestly, and resolving conflicts with empathy.
These five books provide a comprehensive range of perspectives on conversations, communication, relationship-building, and negotiation. By immersing yourself in these reads, you will gain essential tools, insights, and strategies to navigate difficult conversations, deepen connections, and foster understanding in all areas of your life. Enjoy exploring the fascinating world of conversations and relationships through these captivating books!
